Viva la Vida

Busiest Week Ever!

Sunday: Job #2, chilled with my cuñada, went home studied till 1AM
Monday: woke up early, studied, wrote my last exam, ran errands, went for a closing shift
Tuesday: a dragging 10am-4:30pm shift, then spent the rest of my day on a date :D
Wednesday: Got my long awaited Romeo Santos DVD. Job #2 in the evening
Thursday: worked at the Yorkdale La Senza & boat cruise with the homies in the night. (then got sick)
Friday: 10-4 shift while being sick and sneezy. Went home, “napped” for three hours.
Saturday: date with my little sisters.

I usually find that time goes by fast, this week we’ve entered the month of May. However this week in particular has been the longest week ever!! Maybe because I’ve had something to do every single day or I’ve been sleep deprived.. Maybe both. I’ve had sooooo many things back to back it’s ridiculous! I thought that with the semester over, I’d have some down time. I guess not quite. On the other hand, I’ve had some heavy money this week + I’ve been doing really well at J. Crew. And my date.. Ohh gosh I want to write about it but, a synopsis wouldn’t serve justice to the real thing thing! I’ve been hovering over the idea. It was only the first date, maybe I should wait?

Thought of the Day

The over flowing thought in my mind today is you. You really know how to leave an impression. From the minute I woke up, I thought of you. Whether you were in town or heading down Highway 8. Hoping that you were doing well with that Nissan of yours.

I can’t help but think, are you thinking of me? Are you thinking of last night? Because that’s the happy thought that’s getting me through the day. Your prizing winning charm and optimism, has me saying “I can’t wait for the next time”. And further thinking, I can’t wait until all our future car rides home, pool games and nature adventures. You’ve enchanted me. Waiting anxiously for your arrival, and waiting to give you a welcome back/ “I’m so glad you’re here” hug.

The predominant thought seems to be, I can’t wait ‘till he gets his ass back to Toronto.

“What’s your Ideal First Date?”

I don’t think that can ever be adequately answered. Sure we all imagine it in our heads, it’s inevitable.

Sure maybe some people can even list places and things they’d like to go and do, but that doesn’t even matter. He could take you to the CN Tower and you could have the crappiest time! Or simply just a walk in the park. It’s the conversation and time well spent that’s most valuable. Let the sparks fly, go with the flow. Let “grab a coffee” turn into spending six hours with a guy. Let it turn into something great.

April 25th

A mild Spring day, Aaron’s birthday, the day I met you, a significant day indeed.

It’s been a year, and I haven’t heard a thing about you. I want to know where you are, and what you think.
Do you think of me? Because I still think of you.

Guess who I saw today. Trey. Always a sincere, friendly face to see. We said hi, smiled and hugged. Still carrying that signature scent of his.
“How are you?” he asked.
I paused, thinking of an appropriate answer; “fine” I said as my voice cracked.
He had noticed and pointed it out.
Right then and there, I felt myself about to burst into tears, wanting to tell him, “because I’m NOT fine! Do you know what today is?”
But I didn’t.
I held it in.

You know, because of you
I don’t feel safe anywhere.
Because of you, I’m even afraid of falling into a relationship.
You’re not the kind of person I want to tell people about.
And because I don’t, my guard is up.
And because of that, people that care about me will never know the legitimate explanation they deserve.

There’s a saying, “don’t let your past identify who you are”.
It’s brilliant, but I can’t preach that.
You’ve changed my life, without anyone’s say. What is there to do?
What is the resolution here?
There is none.

The Second Last Tuesday

I remember the second last Tuesday of April like the back of my hand.
There was something in my gut that day.
I remember because while sitting in fourth period beside James, the voice in my head told me “this is wrong”, “something’s not right about all this”.
But I muzzled that voice.

The weather was mild I know because, I remember I wore a kilt that day— hitting it’s expiration date sooner than expected.

I remember your kind, endearing, dreamy- yet masculine eyes.
The kind of eyes a girl just couldn’t dare to ever say no to.
So I didn’t.

Because I’m thinking of you today. And I’m here.

8,000

What I need is an apology— no not even that, that would do nothing.

An Explanation. A “Because…” to my whys and hows.

I’m sitting here thinking, how do you compensate for all this?

How do you calculate my pain, hurt and scars with a number?

You can’t. You can’t make up for it with a number.

What’s done is done. The memories are engraved into my mind.

Fresh as if it were yesterday.

How does one come to such a decision?

And such an odd one.

I didn’t deserve it. I don’t deserve this.

Nothing shall heal the wounds.

To Do list

- Get something pierced
- get a car
- recommit to working out
- continue practicing mi español
- Get a tattoo
- Get el chico to ask for my digits/ ask me out 🙊🙈
- Date a Latino 😏
- Further move up the work ladder
- do something extreme
- Travel to at least 3 places
- See Romeo Santos

kimchola:

Feeling nostalgic. Missing it, let’s go back! #tb #mexico2012 @mellodrizzle @jmalekzadeh @cruzamanda @mendozhuh @staaacexo @jodynexo @anokeytree (at Cuernavaca, Mexico)

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We should love rather than fall in love. Everything that falls, breaks.

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